r/Damnthatsinteresting • u/[deleted] • Mar 28 '23
This 14 year old is a absolute unit with sz 23 feet.
595
u/VocationFumes Mar 28 '23
How the fuck is this guy gonna afford to feed himself regularly?!
259
u/Phaze357 Mar 28 '23
Why does he, the largest student, not simply eat the other students?
→ More replies16
308
→ More replies47
12.7k
u/Fring509
Mar 28 '23
•
For context: Shaquille O’Neil wears a size 22…
5.6k
Mar 28 '23
[removed] — view removed comment
2.9k
Mar 28 '23 edited May 08 '23 •
[deleted]
2.6k
u/Sausagedogknows Mar 28 '23 •
No way man, I see this behemoth opposite me, I make good with the world real quick, look him in the eye and say “you best be on top of your game today, because I plan on being fucking unstoppable! Witness meeeeee!”
I’m sure the medical staff will be able to sort out the mess.
593
Mar 28 '23 edited May 08 '23
[deleted]
395
u/Sausagedogknows Mar 28 '23
Couple of pieces of ripped cardboard, scrape into bucket, or something? I don’t know, I have no medical qualifications.
197
u/EdenianRushF212 Mar 28 '23
Kitty litter
131
→ More replies19
→ More replies28
Mar 28 '23 edited May 08 '23
[deleted]
27
u/The_Crusades Mar 28 '23
Well maybe you shouldn’t have tried to dissolve it in a ceramic tub Jesse!
→ More replies39
u/Elkins45 Mar 28 '23
Did you ever see that episode of The Office where Kevin spilled the chili?
→ More replies15
287
Mar 28 '23
[removed] — view removed comment
→ More replies43
u/Affectionate_Mall_49 Mar 28 '23
Thinking the same thing, I may have another 2 or 3 growth spurts and he's only going to get bigger. ugh
→ More replies35
u/tomcat91709 Mar 28 '23
All I can envision is a hole in the ground shaped in your silhouette. Like Wlie E. Coyote.
83
u/AdventurousDress576 Mar 28 '23
Just run, he'll be exhausted before he gets to the point of the field when someone else stopped you.
77
→ More replies16
→ More replies13
58
u/OlemissConsin Mar 28 '23
Imagine the shape this poor kids knees are going to be in by college. He's going to get nothing but chop blocked every freaking play...
→ More replies160
u/TheRealMoofoo Mar 28 '23
I remember being in 7th grade and lining up across from a kid who was already 6'4" and wide as fuck. Luckily most of their team was terrible and we won, but the line battle often looked like Sauron tossing people around at the start of Lord of the Rings.
→ More replies17
u/Elandtrical Mar 28 '23
Played rugby against teams that one or 2 huge guys. Generally their whole game revolves around them. Put in the hard tackles early on and the game is won. Those big guys never put in the hard donkey work, they are always drifting on the outside of the action waiting to get the ball and score. You end up with a lot more possession, those lumpy guys never can run fast and definitely never tackle. Remember watching our 1st XV playing against a school that an absolute unit of a prop. They ran the game so fast the ref sent the lump off the field because he was holding up the play. Ended up winning 124-7!
→ More replies225
u/Porsche928dude Mar 28 '23
Yeah I really hope he doesn’t have giantism or a tumor on his pituitary gland. If he gets too large he could have really bad complications in his joints and organs as he gets older.
353
u/Sunnydaysahead17 Mar 28 '23
According to the article OP linked in a comment he doesn’t have an endocrine disorder, his mom is 6’2” and his dad is 6’5”, he just has big genes and jeans.
→ More replies191
u/Rhinoturds Mar 28 '23
He's still probably going to have joint issues. I've got a coworker who is 6'7". He's not fat but definitely not skinny and has bad joints in his 40s. That much mass just takes its toll.
→ More replies110
u/Ok_Skill_1195 Mar 28 '23
No citation to provide, but I'm pretty sure huge people have a lot of additional health issues as a result of being massive. I remember reading it once and being like "huh, just like dogs" (larger breeds of dogs typically have shorter life spans than smaller breeds)
→ More replies42
u/ElegantTobacco Mar 28 '23
Yeah, not every part of the body scales with the overall size. Big dudes tend to have serious heart issues, joint issues, etc. Very sad.
→ More replies15
u/aged_monkey Mar 28 '23
Then there are freaks on the other side like Paul George and Kevin Durant, who are both above 6'10, had career-ending injuries in the peak of their careers, and recovered to become All-NBA level players.
I think it helps if you're built slender and agile, rather than massive and strong. It also probably helps that Kevin Durant and Paul George are franchise players who teams will throw millions at for world-class doctors.
→ More replies→ More replies13
29
→ More replies31
u/howtoeattheelephant Mar 28 '23
Anything that big is unlikely to be fast.
I hope.
→ More replies15
u/Diddintt Mar 28 '23
Nah know some guys like that. In a 15 foot radius they are God after that they peter out but them first few yards are his.
→ More replies1.5k
u/Known-Economy-6425 Mar 28 '23
And Shaq’s were the biggest shoes in the NBA if I recall, where every teams locker has 17,18,19s
→ More replies311
→ More replies431
u/5tyhnmik Mar 28 '23
shoe sizes are kind of weird.
There are some size 13 shoes that I literally cannot get my foot into the shoe, but they would fit me great if I could actually get them on.
depending on how much of an arch you have makes a huge difference in shoes. with high arches, often the shoe length is not the issue but the height is
→ More replies131
u/Terrapins_MD Mar 28 '23
Yeah I've experienced this myself. I have wide feet and a high arch. The size I wear can change drastically with different brands, it all depends how they are made. I wear an 18 in most brands, in boots which are normally made a little roomier I can fit into a 17, I love Keen boots because they readily make that large of a size. In UA I wear an 18-19 and but for Nike I've had to go as high as a 21 before, but I don't wear them anymore, hard to find.
→ More replies28
u/terminhell Mar 28 '23
Ya same. Luckily my feet aren't quite as big, Most shoes/boots 15's work. But theres been a time or two where ive had to go up to 16 or down to 14. Seems like past size 12-13 the manufacturers just wing it lol.
→ More replies
11.2k
u/oliferro Mar 28 '23
Bro imagine you're a like 5'1" 14 years old who just got out of algebra class and you have to go get run over by a 6'10" freight train 💀
1.2k
u/GlassEyeMV Mar 28 '23
Having been this kid (I was 6’1, 200 as a 6th grader, got to 6’3 225 by 8th grade), my size kind of took the fun out of youth football. I was the reason the city youth leagues instituted weight limits for running the ball and then playing defense.
I was a fullback/nose tackle. Literally the mini fridge. I was playing with kids 2 years older and running them over. They said kids over 150 couldn’t run the ball. Next year, I was a center and nose tackle. Just destroyed the center of every line. Then they said if you weighed over 175, you couldn’t play defense. Totally killed me. Luckily, when I started playing for the schools, I got to play both ways again.
333
u/imisstheyoop Mar 28 '23
Having been this kid (I was 6’1, 200 as a 6th grader, got to 6’3 225 by 8th grade), my size kind of took the fun out of youth football. I was the reason the city youth leagues instituted weight limits for running the ball and then playing defense.
I was a fullback/nose tackle. Literally the mini fridge. I was playing with kids 2 years older and running them over. They said kids over 150 couldn’t run the ball. Next year, I was a center and nose tackle. Just destroyed the center of every line. Then they said if you weighed over 175, you couldn’t play defense. Totally killed me. Luckily, when I started playing for the schools, I got to play both ways again.
I was 6'2" 250 in 7th grade for my first year of football. I played tackle.
I remember at one point in practice they gave me the ball and just had the whole team try to bring me down, it didn't happen.
To be fair, after the first 4-5 surrounded me they stabilized and padded me from everyone else until coach blew the whistle.
262
u/GlassEyeMV Mar 28 '23
Bingo. That’s how the middle school coach decided to let me run the ball in short yardage. I asked him to let me try. He said “if you ever fumble, you’re never doing it again.” I didn’t move fast, but I was impossible to bring down and protected that ball with my life.
My best memory was going up against our rival middle school that fed into our HS. They had a guy a year older than me who did the exact same thing. He played DL and OL and would shift to fullback on short yardage. They had a 4th and 2 to seal us out of a win. I dove between the centers legs and as the kid ran over the top of me, I grabbed the ball from his hands. He had no idea what happened. We went down and scored that drive to win the game. Dude was PISSED.
2 years later, we’re meeting our “Varsity mentors” for hs football. Mine walks up, he’s only a sophomore but he’s the starting center for Varsity. We get to talking and I mention that play. “Fuck you dude! I got so much shit for that! I haven’t played running back since. Fuck you! Dammit!”
We ended up becoming good friends. He won a D3 national championship and just won another as a coach, so he’s clearly doing well.
→ More replies49
→ More replies34
u/eskamobob1 Mar 29 '23
One of the schools in my division had one of you in middle school. Ignoring the fact I never grew again, I played center at 5'5' in 7th grade and the dude litteraly just moved me out of position every play. No big explosive impact, no nothing. Grabbed me and one other guy and just went "you're gunna be here now". Was kind of a wild experience tbh.
10
u/imisstheyoop Mar 29 '23
One of the schools in my division had one of you in middle school. Ignoring the fact I never grew again, I played center at 5'5' in 7th grade and the dude litteraly just moved me out of position every play. No big explosive impact, no nothing. Grabbed me and one other guy and just went "you're gunna be here now". Was kind of a wild experience tbh.
Oddly enough, one of the toughest players in our team was a shorter kid. I had dang near a foot in him, but dude was built. By the time he graduated he was only like 5'6'', so he was nearly full grown by the time we were in middle school. And he was strong. Started weightlifting and bulking up in 7th grade and never stopped.
It was a great lesson in what leverage was and how technique and having your pads lower matters more than just raw size. He played nose tackle and while he couldn't get around me, I couldn't dislodge the fucker either. He was rooted in.
→ More replies226
u/oliferro Mar 28 '23
Damn I understand that they just want to prevent kids from getting injured but at the same time it just prevents the bigger kid from getting better and maybe eventually getting a professional contract
→ More replies233
u/GlassEyeMV Mar 28 '23
It definitely hampered my development. I got embarrassed hardcore at an OL camp my freshmen year because of the way I blocked. I wouldn’t use my hands. It was taught behavior because I was so much bigger than other kids, I couldn’t engage with my hands, it would get flagged immediately.
It took getting embarrassed in front of my peers for me to realize it was my youth coach/system that messed me up and that what I had been taught was BS to protect other kids. In HS and college, they want you to destroy the other kids.
→ More replies259
u/Johnny_Poppyseed Mar 28 '23
Honestly this is why sports should not be full contact at that age for anyone. Kids shouldnt be getting that brain trauma before they are even teenagers. And with the size differences it just makes the whole situation even worse.
Highschool full contact is fucked up too in my personal opinion, but I realize that's basically a nonstarter conversation to have right now.
→ More replies117
u/GlassEyeMV Mar 28 '23
I actually agree with your first point. I think it should be flag only up til HS. Work on fundamentals and doing it right before the violent part. That’s basically how they teach rugby to kids and I think it’s the best way to go about it.
→ More replies45
u/iaqualdo Mar 28 '23
When i was in U9 in rugby you would already go for a full tackle (or try to). It's obviously still a contact sport but a good tackle in rugby is the one that brings the opponent down with the least amount of trauma.
12
u/GlassEyeMV Mar 28 '23
Fair enough. When I lived in Australia and played on a beer league team, they told me U12s I think we’re the first contact.
But that’s just right about rugby tackling. It’s so much safer by style. Also, lack of helmets and long collision distances helps a lot.
→ More replies3.1k
u/AryaSyn Mar 28 '23
In all fairness, he’s probably incredibly slow.
3.4k
u/HatsAreEssential Mar 28 '23
Doesn't really matter at his stage of football. If you physically cannot be tackled, you can fucking WALK a touchdown in, lol.
120
u/EarthDoomProphecy Mar 28 '23
Could they just make him the QB and have him bulldoze forward a handful of yards almost every play? It’s kinda beautiful in its unstoppable simplicity.
→ More replies154
u/th4t1guy Mar 29 '23
Yes but he will not be able to walk by the end of the year from all of the people hitting his knees sideways.
→ More replies11
Mar 29 '23
People that tall usually have very bad joint problems anyway; humans weren’t meant to be 7’ lol. Athletes take precaution, have great doctors and PT, and are healthy people. But once they age out of it they tend to also fall victim to it. Height is associated with joint issues all over.
796
u/nlevine1988 Mar 28 '23
I think the point is, he's slow enough that you can just get out of his way
532
u/bqx23 Mar 28 '23
Yeah you can also outrun siege weapons like battering rams.
→ More replies211
u/8urnMeTwice Mar 29 '23
But not trebuchets
116
u/FlutterKree Mar 29 '23
Just run towards the trebuchet, it is too good to be throwing them so close.
→ More replies→ More replies22
→ More replies125
u/cleantushy Mar 28 '23
Exactly. I'll let him win if he lets me live. Sounds like a fair trade to me
→ More replies15
u/PatchyCreations Mar 29 '23
I think the shot at glory alone would be enough to make me dive into his legs
→ More replies81
→ More replies9
u/lockon345 Mar 28 '23
Can confirm.
6 foot in 6th grade.
I would just grab the ball to my chest and waddle my goofy ass through like 4-5 5'1 guys pulling on me like they were trying to stop a draft horse.
It was fun until I met the first person my size and they hyperextended my leg on my 2nd play, made me realize real quick that coordination was important if I wanted to keep playing with older people.
This guy might honestly be lucky enough to coast on always be the biggest fish in whatever pond he's in though.
973
u/ImBrokeNowBoi Mar 28 '23
He can probably get from one side of the field to the other in like three steps.
597
→ More replies163
u/Fappy_as_a_Clam Mar 28 '23
For now.
He's knees are going to be shredded in no time. I feel bad for how his adult years are going to go.
However...
College is going to be bonkers for him lol
→ More replies83
u/1sagas1 Mar 28 '23
Likely not. Very few linemen in college football are anywhere close to that tall. The extra mass kills your speed, coordination, and endurance
→ More replies132
u/Doortofreeside Mar 28 '23
That's what sets apart the big boys in the NFL. They're so much faster than people realize
65
u/JudgeHolden Mar 29 '23
100 percent. When I was a high-school kid back in the 80s in Northern California, I went to a a kind of 49ers promo/exhibition type thing, and Bubba Paris was there and he took a bunch of passes from me and some of the other kids there and I'm telling you, that motherfucker was way faster than any of the wide receivers we had on any of our county's local high-school teams. It was a hoot. There's this giant 300 lb man easily outrunning all of these kids. And he did it with a smile.
→ More replies12
u/SafewordisJohnCandy Mar 29 '23
My freshman year the varsity offensive line featured 4 guys who would eventually play D1. From Big East, MAC and SEC and all started at some point in college. One of them came back during our workouts during Christmas break and joined in with us doing some running in the gym. We were doing suicides and the only players he wasn't outrunning was the starting running backs, receivers and corners.
It was insane how much a college S&C program could do. I remember him in high school and he wasn't anywhere near that fast or big. Some of your average Joe fan doesn't quite understand how massive and freaks of nature these guys are.
10
u/lickedTators Mar 29 '23
You rarely see a guy this big in the NFL. A shorter center of gravity is better for diverting people. Plus you're more likely to get leg injuries.
→ More replies→ More replies24
u/BanDizNutz Mar 28 '23
And in better shape. They have to gain muscle and fat to make the weight.
→ More replies32
86
u/TheGalator Mar 28 '23
Slow acceleration but once he is on speed. Might as well get run over by a car
→ More replies66
→ More replies16
241
u/SirRupert Mar 28 '23
When I was about a 5'1" 14 year old, I got tackled really hard by a guy who had about 5 inches and 50 pounds on me and was out cold. This guy could legit kill someone.
→ More replies53
u/dunstbin Mar 28 '23
Why I always preferred hockey. My 5'11" 150lb 14-year-old self played defenseman, but got regularly put on my ass by our 5'4 110lb starting center whenever I got asked to take draws during practice. I could light up guys twice my size on the boards or open ice, but that dude always had my number.
→ More replies→ More replies48
u/AnonumusSoldier Mar 28 '23
Run over? This dude probably just steps over the other players
→ More replies
3.7k
Mar 28 '23
•
[removed] — view removed comment
107
120
u/MTN_Dewit Mar 28 '23
Which chapter of Astartes do you think will be best for him to join?
75
u/Enjoying_A_Meal Mar 28 '23
Iron Hands if he gets his shoes custom made.
Blood Ravens if he steals his shoes.
Lamenters if he can't find shoes.
→ More replies25
→ More replies63
u/Gauth1erN Mar 28 '23
The world eater of course.
→ More replies10
u/TheyStoleTwoFigo Mar 28 '23
His name is already 2/3 of the "Kill! Maim! Burn!" warcry.
→ More replies578
Mar 28 '23
Is he Baymax?
→ More replies189
u/whatisthishappiness Mar 28 '23
No he’s Emperor Calus, and he’ll finally have shoes to match his inner beauty
→ More replies18
10
→ More replies42
u/Branded_Mango Mar 28 '23
What if he's a primarch but just doesn't know it yet? Oh crap, maybe the god emperor is coming in a few years to pick him up!
→ More replies21
u/borfavor Mar 28 '23
A THIRD primarch is coming back? Big E is gonna be chuffed to bits
→ More replies
1.7k
u/Sad_pineapple19 Mar 28 '23
When this dude was born, he drove his mother home from the hospital
732
u/DigbyChickenZone Mar 29 '23
Seeing as he's 6'10... his family is huge
219
151
u/eskamobob1 Mar 29 '23
Holy fuck. Mom is at least 6'5". That's fucking wild
→ More replies206
u/Bones_IV Mar 29 '23
News story on them says mom is 6'2", dad is 6'5", and his 11-y.o. brother is already 5'11".
→ More replies166
u/EpicLegendX Mar 29 '23
His parents are raising production grade linemen.
→ More replies113
u/Magnetic_penis_strap Mar 29 '23
Her womb is sponsored by the NFL.
21
u/puskunk Mar 29 '23
My brother in law is 6'7" and his wife is 6'4". They had a child, I asked my mother in law if the NBA recruits from the womb or will they wait til elementary school.
→ More replies186
101
→ More replies29
u/SitInCorner_Yo2 Mar 29 '23
They probably had to buy furniture from Dutch ,this is a huge family.
→ More replies→ More replies116
u/RustyJuang Mar 29 '23
He came out legs first and took her for 3 laps around the room before he was fully birthed.
→ More replies28
2.1k
u/CoffeeandCare_me Mar 28 '23
I had a teammate that was similar size. 7' tall, around 340lbs during football season. He sat the bench cause his knees were so fucked up from hauling around that much person.
Edit: he was size 19 if I remember right
→ More replies595
u/Whats-Up_Bitches Mar 28 '23
Bro, I'm 270 and my knees are already this bad I couldn't imagine living with 340, much less playing football
217
u/Cr4yol4 Mar 28 '23
Let me tell you, it fucking sucks. I used to weigh 380, currently weighing about 325. They support me but barely. Kneeling down is ok, getting up is worse.
I don’t know if it’s weight related or just a contributing factor, but when I can’t extend my legs for a long period of time my knee caps start feeling pain. I might just have shitty knees but I feel my weight plays a part as well.
Edit: 6ft tall for reference.
251
→ More replies67
u/coolneemtomorrow Mar 28 '23
I think it is weight related dude. I'm 6ft also, but I weigh 185 pounds (84 kg). I'm as tall as you, but you used to be more than double my weight, and im not skinny. My knees are fine ( I'm not a doctor though, maybe your knees hurt because of a different problem ) Good on you for losing 55 pounds though!
→ More replies→ More replies53
u/druality Mar 28 '23
Kid has to be an easy 415+, he’ll live this life forever if he doesn’t shape up. At 6’6” 320 my knees hurt just from work
→ More replies
809
Mar 28 '23
Let's all take a moment of silence for the kids on the opposing football teams when they first take the field and see this lad
→ More replies
7.5k
u/RockyJayyy
Mar 28 '23
edited Mar 28 '23
•
Idk what you're feeding him but he is too damn big
-chris tucker
Thanks for the award and upvotes. This comment section is lit with the chris tucker movie quotes 🤣.
1.4k
u/Magrik Mar 28 '23
Daaaaammmmmmnnnnnnnn
- Chris Tucker
→ More replies563
u/highbrowshow Mar 28 '23
NEVER TOUCH A BLACK MAN'S RADIO
- Chris Tucker
→ More replies401
u/Bedroom_Opposite Mar 28 '23
DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE WORDS COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH?
-Chris Tucker
→ More replies278
u/highbrowshow Mar 28 '23
DON'T NOBODY UNDERSTAND THE WORDS COMIN' OUT OF YOUR MOUTH
- Also Chris Tucker
→ More replies120
u/Ru5ty-5heriff Mar 28 '23
DO YOU CALL THIS A CHINESE RESTAURANT??
- What he said^
→ More replies113
u/Klin24 Mar 28 '23
COMMERCIAL! COMMERCIAL!
-Ruby Rhod
→ More replies78
Mar 28 '23
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!
-Ruby Rhod
→ More replies51
u/Lepke2011 Mar 28 '23
I don't want one position, I want all positions!
- Ruby Tucker
→ More replies23
→ More replies56
620
Mar 28 '23
Grocery bill guess?
156
→ More replies206
u/Brave_Dick Mar 28 '23
200$/week?
282
u/toebeankisses Mar 28 '23
Easily double that. I can't even imagine trying to feed him.
115
→ More replies134
u/Vox___Rationis Mar 28 '23
Lots and lots of rice and pasta with whatever meat is the cheapest in his locality.
I bet the eggs price hike hurt his family a good deal→ More replies30
u/gamageeknerd Mar 28 '23
Back when I was playing football and was a giant highschooler I ate rice, ground beef, pasta, and cheap cold cut sandwiches nearly every day. Fried chicken was a weekend treat and I drank gallons of water and sodas. I was always hungry and could eat 3 subway foot longs if I was extra hungry. Eventually I stopped football and my life got better for it. More free time and I wasn’t always tired.
→ More replies→ More replies39
90
u/MCU_Fan01 Mar 28 '23
If football doesn’t work then I’m sure the WWE could use a fresh giant persona in their roster lol
→ More replies
2.2k
u/USAIsAUcountry Mar 28 '23
My little brother is the same although not quite as big as this kid. He was 6ft 180lb at 12 years old. I go pick him up after school and he comes out with his little buddies and it looks like he has done 6th grade for the 4th time. He's 15 now and probably 6'3 220lb, long surpassing both me and our father, and he doesn't even have the decency to be fat. He's just gigantic compared to the rest of the family for no reason.
1.6k
u/hockeyjmac Mar 28 '23 •
How tall is your mailman?
1.2k
u/USAIsAUcountry Mar 28 '23
Haha! You joke but that was a legitimate concern at one time. The mother is morally questionable and our father slightly paranoid so he had a paternity test done when they divorced.
→ More replies706
u/Jesus_H-Christ Mar 28 '23
I like how you phrased that, "the mother," really puts the nature of the procreating humans and their offspring into a realistic perspective.
→ More replies458
u/USAIsAUcountry Mar 28 '23
Which, believe me, is a more endearing term than that
humanbeing deserves. Alas, she is the birthgiver of my brother and he's fond of her for some reason. As such I try my best to avoid being crass.→ More replies136
u/Jesus_H-Christ Mar 28 '23 edited Mar 28 '23
I've never had to deal with it in my nuclear family, but cheese and crackers has this been a theme with my extended family. I don't know how my mom and dad managed to not be fucked up, and me and my siblings are totally normal, functional members of society, but pretty much aaaaaaaaaall of my parents brothers and sisters are cheats and liars and swindlers and weirdos - eleven in total.
One uncle was cheating with the neighbor next door for TWENTY YEARS before his wife found out. You gotta be a special kind of shit pile to think that's okay.
A couple of my moms brothers? Yeah they raped one of my aunts when they were kids. And my grandma covered it up for 50 years. WHAT!?
Unbelievably, I don't think they've passed their garbage personality traits down to their kids. I'm flabbergasted by how completely decent my cousins are. Maybe it was the lead in everything.
118
Mar 28 '23
did you say cheese and crackers as a substitute for your own username
77
u/Jesus_H-Christ Mar 28 '23 edited Mar 28 '23 •
You got me. When I made this username I never really thought about the implications.
You know, the implications.
→ More replies→ More replies38
u/USAIsAUcountry Mar 28 '23
Being a poor excuse of a person comes surprisingly easy and natural to a lot of people. I don't know how they do it because I find it extremely difficult to be a pure piece of shit. It's much easier to just be nice.
Some of her highlights: Concealing having contracted hep B, trying to have sex with me, bruising herself claiming abuse to win sole custody, sending her then underage daughter to my father's door in an attempt to frame him as a pedo, abandoning her daughter with relatives immedietly after birth and then again throwing her out at 16. Among many other things.
I am quite sure she is the literal spawn of Satan. Which would also explain my brothers great size because when a demon and a human procreate they create a hybrid, a Nephilim, a person of great size and strength.
It makes perfect sense!
→ More replies56
u/PizzaDay Mar 28 '23
My dad used to say I got my red hair from the cable guy. I didn't get it until I was older so I would repeat it to strangers in front of my mom who had to just laugh it off.
43
→ More replies31
u/subliminal_trip Mar 28 '23
The best use of the "mailman" joke since Hockey legend Bobby Hull drunkenly and inappropriately told one at my youth (age 6-14, I was 9) hockey league annual awards dinner back in the 1970s.
11
u/Balls09 Mar 28 '23
Do you remember the joke?
20
u/subliminal_trip Mar 28 '23
Something about one of his kids looking like the mailman (must not have been Brett, his spitting image). I didn't really get it at the time, being about 9, but my father and other parents did, and I remember the collective silence.
127
u/SandwichSwiper Mar 28 '23
“Doesn’t even have the decency to be fat” man that’s great. Thanks for the chuckle
→ More replies15
→ More replies27
u/Blawharag Mar 28 '23
I know there's a generic disorder that causes a person to basically never stop growing and can have serious health issues/implications. Is this a case of that, or is your brother just big?
→ More replies17
u/USAIsAUcountry Mar 28 '23
Nah I don't think so. He's just been big for his age. Most boys reach the end of their growth spurt at around 16 years old so I'm sure it's gonna start slowing down soon. I'm sure he's gonna reach 6'5" or above but that's not really abnormal for a large man.
→ More replies
328
u/throwanon31 Mar 28 '23
I feel bad for the guy. I’m 6’7” and I have so many aches and pains throughout my body. It’s almost impossible to have good posture. Everything is made for people 12+ inches shorter than you.
→ More replies109
u/Legitimate_Wizard Mar 28 '23
I do feel like 5'7" or 5'8" is the ideal height to function in this world. At 5'5", I've always felt just a little too short.
→ More replies102
u/FilouBlanco Mar 28 '23
I’m 5’7” and throughout my life I have maintained that society is made to fit my height exactly. Nothing is ever out of reach and I always have enough space to fit my legs.
19
u/MrDodgers Mar 29 '23
Hi fellow 5’7! I agree everything is just right for me, cars, plane seats. Clothes, though…in the states I always ended up with clothes that were a tad big. When I moved to Italy suddenly every “medium” sized garment fits like it was tailored for me.
→ More replies13
30
u/wickedspork Mar 28 '23
Poor dude is going to be in for some rough health issues down the road.
→ More replies
185
28
1.3k
u/The_SAK_Fanboy Mar 28 '23
It's not his shoe size he and people should be worried about, it's his future heart and spinal problems that I am most worried about
You simply do not become that big without having serious problems that lead to a very bad quality of life and usually a short one. Just look at any famous "giant" and see the sheer number of medical problems they have
I am happy he is enjoying life and his newfound fame but he better be kind on his body and use the money he earns to make his future more comfortable. Playing contact sports isn't particularly the best choice in his case
509
u/redmustang7398 Mar 28 '23
Yep Shaq just had hip replacement surgery and was plagued with back pain. This kid should probably lose some weight or he’ll experience that too
→ More replies461
u/fieldy409 Mar 28 '23
Yeah but if Shaq didn't do sports he wouldn't be rich and therefore health problems would be a lot bigger problem in his life not being able to easily afford when they did happen.
→ More replies79
44
u/fumoderators Mar 28 '23
Yeah you don't meet a lot of 80+ year old people who are over 6'6"
→ More replies→ More replies122
u/pr0zach Mar 28 '23
This. Football is going to fuck his knees up soooo badly with his body type. Even if he strength trains his lower body and cuts some weight it’s still almost guaranteed he’s going to mess up a major joint before he graduates.
→ More replies
17
u/TexturedTeflon Mar 28 '23
That photo on the field looks like the one of the full grown cow out in the pasture with a herd of smaller cattle making the older cow seem like a legit giant. Except in this case the kid is a legit giant.
11
u/Queentroller Mar 28 '23
My brother wears 15. His shopping process is go to counter, ask if they carry that size. Try on the two options if they have them and pick one.
→ More replies
380
14
213
u/dancing-asparagus Mar 28 '23
He currently buys his shoes at a clown apparel store.
→ More replies36
40
11
30
u/brokenbatblues Mar 28 '23
He will get anything he wants as long as he plays football.
→ More replies
32
u/AlreadyBackLOL Mar 28 '23
At that point I think he is so tall it is a hindrance. You can be a big unmovable wall, but you're dealing with people who can run circles around you.
→ More replies
94
9
u/DiligentSlide4 Mar 28 '23
If he wears size 23 shoes, does that mean he probably hasn’t reached his full adult height yet? (Or do the rules of estimating a puppy’s expected size not apply to human teens?)
→ More replies
9
u/havereddit Mar 29 '23
I hope for his sake (if he has aspirations of playing pro ball) that he gets professional support in terms of training, diet, exercise, etc, so he does not become yet another one of those big teenagers who never adjusts to the athleticism needed to make it to the big league. You can dominate other kids and teens just by being big, but the shit gets real when you are suddenly surrounded by 10 other 6' 4" to 6' 8" players, all of whom can do the 40 yard dash in under 5.3 seconds
7
743
u/ReleventReferences Mar 28 '23 •
Hodor